Sunday, October 12, 2014

welcome teddy boy!

At 4:48 pm this past monday we welcomed our son - Theodore Finch into the world. In an instant our hearts grew twelve sizes bigger. In seven short days he has already managed to fill our life and our family with so much warmth, joy and love. These days have been unbelievably wonderful all four of us knitting ourselves together forever into a new, larger family. I'm feeling like the luckiest mama in all the world and just soaking up every moment of this very special time in our lives. We're up to our ears in tiny socks, newborn smell and lots and lots of diaper changes and we couldn't be happier about it!

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

nothing like a fall fair

I realized when I sat down to write this that it turns out this was my second fall fair that I attended while pregnant. I don't know if it's the fact that I have days left in this pregnancy or what but it certainly is starting to feel like I am pregnant ALL THE TIME. I guess it's not all bad because I got that little cutie above out of the first one and goodness gracious if this kid isn't a ball of fun lately (what a change from just a few months ago, so SEE fellow mamas it does get better!). Papa bear and I were talking the other night and we both expressed the same feeling that we have both been on cloud nine over the fact that just recently Birdie has gone from engaging with us on a strictly "need" basis (i.e., I need to eat, sleep, watch a show, etc...) to having conversations or just "hanging out" with us for the sake of entertainment or "fun" and it has turned our world upside down in the best way possible!
So let's talk about the carousel. We actually had no intention of taking her on any rides. Pretty much any non-Disney theme park scares me a bit and I wasn't even sure she would be interested. Well was I ever wrong... She spotted the carousel a mile a way and whined until we got near it at which point she literally began to climb the fence surrounding it in an attempt to get in. So papa bear ran off to buy some tickets and I just kept repeating that she has to "wait, wait, wait" (also known as her most hated word to hear, ever). Finally we made it through the line and onto one of the horses. She was beside herself! Pointing to all the things and grinning like a fool. Then we began to move... You guys I about died! This kid got the most serious face and gripped that pole like her life depended on it. She never complained, never wavered, just stared straight ahead! You would have thought she was going on a mission to Mars! And then it all stopped. I was sure she would beg for me to remove her immediately but to my surprise she was terribly upset that it wasn't spinning anymore and we had a bit of a meltdown over leaving all those shiny horses behind. So I suppose she was hiding the entire time just how much she enjoyed the experience! She is such a silly goose that kiddo of ours!
We also fairly recently discovered that Birdie is crazy about popcorn so there was no way we were leaving without getting her a bag. She munched on that bag the entire drive home with an expression on her face that could only be explained as - pure bliss. I tell you this kid made out like a bandit at that fair! Carousels, popcorn, cotton candy and her prized possession - a plastic apple full of fresh apple cider! 
The next day at home we did one of our favorite things to do together and baked some desserts. It's something I've been doing with her since she was a year old and it's become one of my most beloved traditions. I give her some bowls and spoons and tell her to "mixy, mix" and together we measure and whisk and pour and bake. She gets so engrossed in the process and takes the job very, very seriously. I'm really trying to soak in and treasure these memories because in just a few days I will have two babies instead of one and I never want to forget these days. I am excited to create new memories as a family of four but there's something bittersweet about letting go of what we have known and learning to embrace something utterly different. 

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

two years of f & f

I just realized tonight that it turns out I totally forgot to be a good blogger and document the fact that I've been writing and posting pictures over here for two years now! So here it is! The obligatory "I've been blogging for two years" post. Cue the eye rolls (especially because for those of you that have known me longer know that I have been "blogging" for longer than two years). So bear with me as I unload all of my deep thoughts. 
For those of you who are new here, it is true, I have in fact been blogging since 2008 which makes it six years of blogging. Goodness gracious that makes me feel old, like dinosaur level old. I started on tumblr back when there were only a few thousand users and David Karp interacted with those users on a personal level. Not with me, obviously, but suffice to say the circle was small and it was all felt very... kumbaya. Then they introduced the concept of likes and it all got very catty and yucky. Then came the wave of "blogging for money" and everyone couldn't wait to get their paws on a few dollars. It all felt very "LOOK AT ME" and side bar ads began to overtake blogs until, well until, it all became a little too much for everyone. Somewhere during that schism I jumped back in just in time for things to calm down with advertising and for us bloggers to realize that we liked things much better when it was all kumbaya all the time.
And I have to tell you I have really enjoyed the time I've spent over here at Flora and Fauna. You guys are a pretty awesome group to be surrounded with. Every time I sit down and write I imagine your faces (some of you I've connected with on IG so I know what you look like) or I imagine that I'm talking with you. I remember the things you've shared about yourselves, the advice you've given me or the kind things you've said and I feel stupid level lucky to have had the chance to interact with all of you. I pretty much think you're the coolest group of ladies out there. It's kind of nuts to think about the impact y'all have had on my life. There have been so many times that I have felt encouraged, validated, supported or just plain loved by you and for that I am beyond grateful. This blogging thing is inherently somewhat one-sided and totally vain but the fact that I have been able to connect, grow and create lasting relationships thanks to this space is incredible.
I hope that in some way I have been able to give something to you as well. My biggest prayer for this space, daily, is that I use it first and foremost to uplift. And I think uplifting things don't always have to be "sunshine and daisy" types of things, I think uplifting things come in all shapes and sizes and sometimes someone admitting that life is hard, or toddlers can be total monsters or that they get tired and order take out three days in a row too can be uplifting in it's own strange way. Because there's nothing more precious than feeling that we are not alone, that someone understands and that we're a team here. Because we are a team, a team of mothers, writers, lovers, artists, dreamers, achievers, wives, girlfriends, daughters, sisters, friends, and humans. And I think it's so important that we remember that even if today we didn't reach our full potential we can take solace in the fact that we did something to make someone smile, not feel alone or were just there to hold their hand.
So thank you for all the times that you have made me smile, illuminated the loneliness I have felt or held my hand. You have all touched my life and I hope in some way, somehow, I can give back to you a little bit of what you have shared with me.

Here's to year three!!

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

things i don't ever want to forget

I think every mama's heart has these moments daily, these moments when your heart swells and begins to ache in that familiar way. Those moments when you watch your baby, toddler, child... do something that is so painfully sweet and wonderful and you just pray your absolute hardest that you never forget.

I've been feeling a lot of that lately and so today I pray I may never forget:
  • the way she laid her head on the side of the bed and patiently waited while I put a ponytail in her hair, never taking those big hazel eyes off of me
  • the way she sits, legs crossed, on the floor and colors for hours narrating the whole thing in her darling fairy language
  • the way her face looks when she sleeps, so still, smooth and perfect
  • her sticky toddler hugs and slobbery kisses
  • the way she yells "papaaaaaaa" when daddy comes home and runs to wrap him up in a hug
  • the way she eats spaghetti - stretching it across her mouth and biting into the middle
  • watching her take Belle outside in the mornings, patiently waiting, leash in hand, while she does her business
  • the way she goes "aaaaaahhh!!!" and her tiny hands shoot up at the sky every time she hears or sees a plane
  • hearing her snore in her carseat
  • those tiny ringlets at the base of her head
  • the vigor and enthusiasm with which she smells candles, perfume and flowers
  • her giddiness over balloons
  • hearing her "read" books to herself
  • her fake laugh
  • the way she loves to help with unloading the dishwasher and putting her toys away
  • the way she screams happily every morning when she sees Belle for the first time
  • her attempts at picking Belle up
  • the way she says "oh no!" and furrows her brows instead of the classic "uh oh"
  • the way she dances until she's dizzy, which is mainly her just spinning until she falls down in a heap of giggles
  • the way her feet and hands look tiny and huge all at the same time
  • the way she smells after a bath
  • all her silly looks and ridiculous facial expressions 
  • that time I brought her into our bed in the morning and the way she gently petted my hand as she fell asleep
Those are just a few that come to mind now but ultimately there is so much more.